So much to do, so little time…

Story of my life…. I am overwhelmed. I find myself, at the end of the day, saying, “oh crap! I forgot such-and-such – again!” over and over. I even make lists of things I need to do, and still forget to do them. I get to work and my life spins out of control. Before I know it, it’s 6PM and time to go home – and usually too late to do the things on my list because places closed at 5. I really need to get a grip.

Speaking of spinning out of control – my office is in a state of chaos. We’re rearranging, and attempting to clean.  Actually, we have already rearranged, and “I” am attempting to clean MY mess, because my assistant is NOT messy. I feel bad that she is subjected to my mess, but I can’t seem to get a handle on all the stuff on my desk. I try. I sort into piles, and even manage to throw some stuff away. But then the piles just get put back onto my desk, and soon they are no longer in piles. I really need a full-time filing person, along with a full-time secretary, a full-time assistant, and a full-time wife. Then, and only then, might I have time to exercise regularly.

And speaking again of spinning out of control….my weight. I just can’t seem to make any headway. I’ve really been eating well, but nothing is happening. I haven’t weighed myself in weeks. I don’t dare. It would be too depressing. But I can tell I’ve not only not lost, I’ve gained. I keep trying to get back into an exercise rhythm, but I’m making no progress in that area either. I go to bed DETERMINED to get up and take Riley for a walk and go to the gym.  Then morning comes, and I drag myself out of bed, so tired I can barely concentrate on the lunch and coffee making. While making coffee, I’m already planning my return to bed once The Spouse leaves. Most days, I don’t really go back to bed. I hop onto my laptop and check all the computers at work, then I harvest my Farmville crops (my latest Facebook addiction), or blog, or just read what my family and friends have been up to on Facebook. Before I know it, there is no time to walk Riley or go to the gym. There is only time to get ready for work. So, it’s not that I don’t have the time. It’s that I don’t manage my time very well.  The reality is, my mornings are my down time. That’s the only time I have when I can do what *I* want to do. There are no other demands on me – no spouse needing something, no coworkers asking for help, no boss requiring my assistance, no kids calling asking for anything. It’s just ME time. The crazy thing is, the BEST thing I could do for ME would be to exercise, so I’m being an idiot when I don’t.  It’s a struggle.  Ideally, I find the time to both exercise AND blog, farm, and check Facebook.  Not sure how to do that yet, but I’m working on it.

So, here’s my latest goal: my brother and his girlfriend and two of her kids are coming for Thanksgiving. I’ve never met B, and I haven’t seen my brother in ages. I can’t be fat when they come.  I have about 8 weeks until Thanksgiving.  If I can lose 2 pounds a week (a lofty goal considering I’ve been unable to lose 2 pounds in a MONTH), I can be down 16 pounds by Thanksgiving.  That would put me only 20 pounds over an acceptable weight. Okay…I can do this, right?  I need all the encouragement and accountability I can get, so as of this moment, you have my permission to provide either. Harass me about what I’m eating or whether or not I am exercising.  And I welcome your encouragement. (How timely – there is a NutriSystem commercial on TV right now with Marie Osmond. She has continued to lose weight since her first NutriSystem commercial and looks AMAZING.)  So… I’m going to finish this post, change out of my bathrobe, and take Riley for a walk. Then, today I am going to pack my bag and go to the gym. For real. It is 6:10 AM. I am watching The Biggest Loser. That should be motivation enough, right?  What have I eaten today? Some dried fruit – mangoes and berries from Costco – and my latte with nonfat milk and Cool Whip.  I need to get back into the habit of logging everything I eat. Studies prove people who log their food are far more successful than those who don’t.  I understand why. There are days I absolutely cannot remember what I ate, and I KNOW I ate bad stuff – chips, cheese, chocolate…. So, time to track my food and EXERCISE!

So keep me accountable, okay? And please send me encouragement. I’m going to really need it.  Thanks!

Oh yeah….

I posted photos on my Picasa photo site of my family in Italy and my niece. Check out the “Photos” page on my blog for small versions, and a link to the Picasa album.

Oh, and one more thing. I may have mentioned here, or not, that I’m addicted to Scrabble. I have it on my cell phone. I play it with my kids and grandkids the old-fashioned way – on a board with wooden tiles – when they’re visiting. I also have it on my iPod Touch, and play as much as I can on Facebook. I love Scrabble. On Facebook, I’ve pretty much kicked the butt of everyone I’ve played – with one notable, frustrating exception. Remember Dan of Dan’s Blah Blah Bog? He is a Scrabble prodigy! I hate him. I started off beating him. Then, in short order, I lost to him, not once, but twice in a row. And I’m working on my third consecutive loss. I don’t lose by a lot usually – 20 or 30 points or less. But I lose. I HATE losing at anything, but I really hate losing at Scrabble. We both have stellar plays, but Dan has amazing luck. In our current game, he has gotten, not one, not two, but THREE bingos (when you play all 7 letters in one turn). THREE!!!! Who DOES that? I did it once on my iPod against the computer, but in real life??? He’s really killing my win/loss record. I want to hate him, but how can I? He’s such a nice guy who just happens to be as good as I am at Scrabble but with even better luck. Grrrrr!

A New Year = A New Start, Yes?

Oh I try not to make New Year’s resolutions because, well, who ever keeps them, really?  But I can’t help but do so subconsciously.  I think it’s just human nature to look at the start of a new year as an opportunity to break bad habits, start new good ones, and simply start with a clean slate.  In fact, I suspect it’s human nature to do that at the beginning of a new month, let alone a new year.  So, in the back of my mind, of course, I’m thinking of all the things I plan to do differently – eat better, lose weight, exercise, get organized, be tidier, be more productive at work, spend more time reading the Bible and in prayer, and so on…..  I don’t want to acknowledge them as “resolutions” because I’ll feel like a total loser when I don’t stick to them, but they’re there, lurking in my subconscious, regardless of my decision to acknowledge them or not.  I figure by about mid-February I’ll be posting about what a loser I am, having failed to stick to even one of these subconscious resolutions.  Sigh….

I AM going to try very hard to squeeze in some exercise time, but with the endless snow we seem to be getting, it’s going to be hard. I can’t really go walking with Riley.  I hate to leave him alone for an additional two hours each day so that I can go to gym – it just seems cruel.  I could probably get my cross country skis down and do some skiing, and will probably attempt that this weekend, but that could prove disastrous – I haven’t xc skied in 30 years, so who knows how I’ll do?  Maybe my best bet is doing a bunch of stair climbing at work.  Yeah, that’s the ticket!  I’ll try to make multiple trips up and down the stairs every day.  That should help, right?  I’ve got to do SOMETHING!  I’m sick of being trapped in this body.  It’s so not me!

If you’re wondering where I’m hiding these days, you should join Facebook. I pretty much hang out there most of the time.  I can play Scrabble, chat with my family and friends very quickly, play Scrabble, share photos with family and friends, make very quick updates to my status (as opposed to posting on a blog), play Scrabble….  yeah, my latest addiction is Scrabble.  I play with various Facebook friends and family, I play on my new iPod Touch, I play on my LG Dare cell phone… I love Scrabble, but I am not a very strategic player.  I need to learn Scrabble strategy.  I win far more often than I lose – I have only lost twice out of 12 games – but I cant’ stand losing at all, ever.  Oh sure, it’s not JUST skill.  It’s partly the luck of the letters you draw.  But I found a site with some strategic tips about how to manage your tiles to maximize your scoring options.  Most of the tips I’ve never really considered, so it was enlightening.  Maybe I can dominate Scrabble if I can put these tips into action.  I’m not competitive at all.  🙂

My niece, the daughter of my youngest sister, is going to Italy for a two week study abroad trip through her college (Biola).  She leaves on the 8th and will spend 5 days in Rome and 10 in Florence.  I am so envious!  I am going to hook her up with our family in Rome.  My cousin, Pino, has a daughter Brittnee’s age who speaks pretty good English.  I’m sure she’ll love showing Britt around.  Britt is excited to meet them.  Apparently, dinners are not included in their trip (?) so she’s hoping they invite her for a meal or two.  🙂  It’s weird that dinners aren’t included.  When YS went to France, only lunches were their responsibility.  Breakfast and dinner were included.

Speaking of YS, he started Jan Term classes yesterday.  He’s taking a Java class, so he’s going to learn to write applications for the web, cell phones, and game consoles. Then he just has two courses to complete this spring and he’ll be done.  Because he withdrew from his courses in the Fall, he forfeited 13,500 in tuition. 🙁  You don’t get financial aid if you’re part-time, so we get to cough up $5,000 to cover Spring tuition costs.  Ugh.  He’s going to have to take out a loan to pay for that.  Let’s hope he can get one with the economy the way it is.  If not, we’ll have to figure out how we’re going to afford it between him and us.  I’m trying not to think about that right now.

Time to get ready for work…  Happy New Year everyone.

Great Expectations

I start off every single morning with the best of intentions and the greatest expectations – and then it all falls slowly apart.  I intend to start my day off exercising by taking Riley for a walk – and I don’t.  I intend to do some sort of exercise at home – and I don’t.  I intend to eat really well – and I don’t.  I intend to get to work earlier than has been my practice of late – and I don’t.  I intend to read my bible and listen to the various spiritual broadcasts I really do enjoy – and I don’t.  I fail every single morning.  What is wrong with me? It’s not like I go back to bed and sleep away the morning.  I actually DO stuff.  Today it was looking up things related to a side business I’m engaged in.  Some days I get caught up playing Word Twist on Facebook, or even just chatting on Facebook with my sister.  Some days it’s watching shows I’ve recorded that I haven’t had a chance to watch.  The point is, the things I intend to do never seem to get done.  That’s bad because I need to exercise for my health. I need to eat better so I can lose weight, for my health.  I need to get to work earlier so I can get home earlier and make dinner earlier and eat earlier, for my health.  And I need to spend time in the Word for my spiritual health.  I have such good intentions and great expectations, but I fail every single day.  I am pathetic.  I need to pray about this and ask God to help me stop wasting time and procrastinating.  Actually, I DO pray about it every morning, but I mean really pray… on my knees seeking God type prayer.

And now the biggest time suck of all – Riley – is scratching at the door to be let in for the 100th time this morning.  In and out, in and out.  He’s worse than a child.