Story of my life…. I am overwhelmed. I find myself, at the end of the day, saying, “oh crap! I forgot such-and-such – again!” over and over. I even make lists of things I need to do, and still forget to do them. I get to work and my life spins out of control. Before I know it, it’s 6PM and time to go home – and usually too late to do the things on my list because places closed at 5. I really need to get a grip.
Speaking of spinning out of control – my office is in a state of chaos. We’re rearranging, and attempting to clean. Actually, we have already rearranged, and “I” am attempting to clean MY mess, because my assistant is NOT messy. I feel bad that she is subjected to my mess, but I can’t seem to get a handle on all the stuff on my desk. I try. I sort into piles, and even manage to throw some stuff away. But then the piles just get put back onto my desk, and soon they are no longer in piles. I really need a full-time filing person, along with a full-time secretary, a full-time assistant, and a full-time wife. Then, and only then, might I have time to exercise regularly.
And speaking again of spinning out of control….my weight. I just can’t seem to make any headway. I’ve really been eating well, but nothing is happening. I haven’t weighed myself in weeks. I don’t dare. It would be too depressing. But I can tell I’ve not only not lost, I’ve gained. I keep trying to get back into an exercise rhythm, but I’m making no progress in that area either. I go to bed DETERMINED to get up and take Riley for a walk and go to the gym. Then morning comes, and I drag myself out of bed, so tired I can barely concentrate on the lunch and coffee making. While making coffee, I’m already planning my return to bed once The Spouse leaves. Most days, I don’t really go back to bed. I hop onto my laptop and check all the computers at work, then I harvest my Farmville crops (my latest Facebook addiction), or blog, or just read what my family and friends have been up to on Facebook. Before I know it, there is no time to walk Riley or go to the gym. There is only time to get ready for work. So, it’s not that I don’t have the time. It’s that I don’t manage my time very well. The reality is, my mornings are my down time. That’s the only time I have when I can do what *I* want to do. There are no other demands on me – no spouse needing something, no coworkers asking for help, no boss requiring my assistance, no kids calling asking for anything. It’s just ME time. The crazy thing is, the BEST thing I could do for ME would be to exercise, so I’m being an idiot when I don’t. It’s a struggle. Ideally, I find the time to both exercise AND blog, farm, and check Facebook. Not sure how to do that yet, but I’m working on it.
So, here’s my latest goal: my brother and his girlfriend and two of her kids are coming for Thanksgiving. I’ve never met B, and I haven’t seen my brother in ages. I can’t be fat when they come. I have about 8 weeks until Thanksgiving. If I can lose 2 pounds a week (a lofty goal considering I’ve been unable to lose 2 pounds in a MONTH), I can be down 16 pounds by Thanksgiving. That would put me only 20 pounds over an acceptable weight. Okay…I can do this, right? I need all the encouragement and accountability I can get, so as of this moment, you have my permission to provide either. Harass me about what I’m eating or whether or not I am exercising. And I welcome your encouragement. (How timely – there is a NutriSystem commercial on TV right now with Marie Osmond. She has continued to lose weight since her first NutriSystem commercial and looks AMAZING.) So… I’m going to finish this post, change out of my bathrobe, and take Riley for a walk. Then, today I am going to pack my bag and go to the gym. For real. It is 6:10 AM. I am watching The Biggest Loser. That should be motivation enough, right? What have I eaten today? Some dried fruit – mangoes and berries from Costco – and my latte with nonfat milk and Cool Whip. I need to get back into the habit of logging everything I eat. Studies prove people who log their food are far more successful than those who don’t. I understand why. There are days I absolutely cannot remember what I ate, and I KNOW I ate bad stuff – chips, cheese, chocolate…. So, time to track my food and EXERCISE!
So keep me accountable, okay? And please send me encouragement. I’m going to really need it. Thanks!